My Dad

This is my Dad. Its his birthday today and well I've been thinking about him.  I chose to put this picture up because its one of my favorites.  This was a few years ago at a family party on the 4th of July ( FYI - We like to light enough fireworks to be detected by overhead satellite). On this particular night I looked over and there was little Brenna all curled up on Grandpa watching the festivities.  I particularly love seeing his hand holding her flip flop.  I don't know why but this detail is tender to me.  My dad still works full time and is very busy with his church assignment, so we don't get to spend much one on one time with him.  But its moments like this one that I know how much he loves my children individually. He is a great dad and grandpa.  Happy Birthday!

Thankful for...

I'm thankful for many things.  Here are just a few.

My Spouse - Peter - Who continues to love me despite my many flaws
My Children - Each unique, interesting, and loving
My Parents -  I admire their actions daily.  The most generous people I know.
My Siblings - My closest friends.
My Extended Family - So lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.
My Community - Friends, teachers, and neighbors who care about us
My Faith - A child of God, with a Savior that knows and loves me
My Home - The place where love and safety reside
My Education - I know that I am very lucky, even though I might complain.
My Capacity - To know that there is so much more that I can/should/will do.
So many more things to be thankful for.

Disneyland

This picture says it all!

A few weeks back we made the P Family trip to Disneyland.  We planned it for about a year and were lucky enough to fly the whole family.  The first day was a little rough.  Everyone in our little family except Brenna was kind of ornery.  Brenna was just soaking it all in.  We cut out a little early to get to bed and it made a world of difference the next day.  Our second day was great.  Kids were happy, parents were happy, and Disneyland really was the happiest place on earth.  The third day, we went to the beach and the kids had a great time getting their feet wet in the water.  Brenna and Adam, well they got a little more than their feet :)  Enjoy the photos.

Its Parker tradition to go in Pirates first thing.

I love Brenna in this one.

The best way to wait in line.

Happy Birthday Serenade to Matthew 13!

The girls loved this ride.

Candids by WTP

The cousins plus one at the beach

A great day,

Halloween 2010

A Snow Fairy, Michael Jackson, A Witch, and A Creepy Guy.
It was a Happy Halloween.

Does it make you a bad mom if you make a family tradition out of a bad habit or quite possibly an addiction?

Have I mentioned that I like Diet Coke?  When you drink it, its like having a shot of hard liquor.  I've never had a shot of any kind of alcohol but from what I have seen on TV, it seems that it must be the same.  You look forward to the diet coke run all morning and when its quite possibly an appropriate hour of the day you hop in the car and run to the gas station. They hand over that fountain of joy (no cans or bottles I only drink the good stuff), and you take that long first sip.  It bubbles and burns on its way down and you have to let out an audible "ahhh".  At that moment I know I can handle the rest of the day.

Now, I realize that this sounds pretty bad in every aspect.  I'm sure the burning is probably just that, burning.  But I like it.  I have been pretty good to keep it to one drink a day.  So hopefully it won't shorten my life significantly.  I know that some of you are "Dew" or "pepsi" or "water" fans and the thought of diet coke makes you gag a just little bit.  Be comforted to know that your "drink" has the same effect on me.

I'm sorry I got a little carried away there, back to the title of this post.  So this past Summer, I was clued in by a fellow diet coke drinker that a local gas station had a 32 oz for 32 cents on Thursday.  I do not let my kids drink soda on a regular basis, except maybe when we go out to dinner.  But this past Summer I had to figure out a way to get my kids in the van to go get me a diet coke.  So I boldly declared one day "It's Big Drink Thursday".  Well, they had never heard of this before so of course they were intrigued.  I explained that on Thursday drinks were on sale and that we were all going to get a 32 oz drink.  You would have thought they hit the mother load.  So off we went and I was NOT the only mother there experiencing the Big Drink Thursday tradition.  They held their cups dazed by the choice of 24 some odd choices.  To help them I narrowed it down to non-caffeinated drinks.  Even then it took along time.  Adam, smart kid that he is, put me in a corner when he announced that he would like caffeine free pepsi.  First of all, nasty..., but I gave in.  We all marched back to the van and thus began our Summer tradition.

It's over now.  I'm not sure if we will continue the tradition next year but it was good while it lasted.  Bad mom, I know.

A little attention please...

Today, Peter and I were having a discussion and Brenna kept interrupting us.  So Peter told her to go play and closed the door.  Brenna felt a little ignored. So she knocked on the door and came in to inform us that she had developed a headache and a side ache and then instructed Peter to carry her to her bed so she could rest. She also added that he needed to bring her a drink of water and 2 oreo cookies.

Just Breathe....

Today I spent hours working on homework and I haven't even started mine yet.  Between school, work, family, and everything else (housework, home taxi service, etc) I regularly feel overwhelmed.  I know there is less than a year of school left for me but it can't come soon enough.  I need to remind myself to just breathe.  I know that I have been neglectful, forgetful, and well probably not a very happy person to be around.  I'm sorry...  Sometimes all you can do is get your head above water to take in some air before going back down again.  One day I will get back to my normal self I hope.  Until then, have patience and remind me to surface now and then.

Erin's 1st Story

Tonight Peter found this little story on Erin's nightstand when he went to tuck her in bed.  She recently started basketball and is having a great time.  I guess she decided to write a story about it in her free time.  I love finding things like this that give you insight into what your kids are thinking and feeling.

I love how her arms are big when she shoots the ball (which for some reason she has forgotten how to spell ball).  I'm glad she loves basket ball and I love that she wants to write about it too. 

A day in the life of Barbie

My girls were busy playing away in their room.  I decided to go check out the damage after an unusually long period of cooperative play.  Fortunately I found no significant destruction other than toys spread all over.  As I started to help pick up, a scene across the room caught my eye...  I have to give Barbie props for flexibility.

Just going for a walk

Today I was on my way to the elementary to help out in the kids classes and on my way there I saw something that made me stop right there in the middle of the road.  I looked around to make sure what I was seeing was what I thought it was.  It was.

Happily walking down the middle of the road was a little boy I would say about 2 1/2 years old, sporting only his diaper, pushing a stroller.  By himself.  I looked around again to see if he had a parent somewhere nearby possibly distracted or frantically searching for him.  Nope.
So I pulled over and got out.  I walked up to him and we had a little conversation.

"Hi there"
"hi"
"What are you doing?"
"Just going for a walk"
"Where is your mom?"
          shrug....
"Do you know where your house is?"
         he looks around and points to a house nearby

At this point I'm thinking, oh this poor parent probably has no idea he is here, they will be beside themselves when they find out where he has been.  We walk up to the front door, which is closed tight (not the chosen escape route).  We park the stroller, and I ring the bell.  A man comes to the door on his cell phone.  I asked him if this was his child?  He looks down and rolls his eyes and confirms its his child.  I inform him that I found him down the road in the middle of the street.  He gives an annoyed look and sighs and then takes the kid inside. I think he mumbled thanks.

Now, I know that there are some very talented toddler escape artists in the world.  But they are often delivered back into the arms of frantic, embarrassed, shocked, scared, parents who cannot believe that their child has gone missing and up the road in less than two minutes.  I get this.  I didn't get this guy and it just made me sad.  I could have been a kidnapper who just scooped him up and drove away, or I could have not seen him and run him over, or he could have kept walking and gotten lost.  Too many possibilities to this scenario.

Love Everyone

Why is this such a hard topic for mankind?  I believe in God as do millions of people on this planet.  I believe that we were put here for a purpose and given something called agency.  We are given the choice to make our own decisions.  Yes, I do believe that this pastor in FL has the right to burn the Koran (Quran). Yes, I do believe the Muslim community has the right to build a mosque near ground zero.  But I also believe that both of these actions would be insensitive and self indulgent and would only serve the purpose of promoting more conflict and hatred.

I remember a song I learned as a child and it went something like this...

Jesus said love everyone, treat them kindly too.

When your heart is filled with love, others will love you.  

I guess its easier said than done.

Things I love about my kids

I'm supposed to be doing my homework.  Thinking about your kids and what you love about them is definitely a good distraction.

Matthew -  I love that Matthew is for the most part an easy going kid.  He is obedient and kind.  I love that he is a natural musician.  Music will be a big part of his life in one form or another.  I love that he is curious. He researches out things he wants to know, like magic tricks, dance moves, and amusement ride facts.  I love his moves.  He has mastered the worm and the moonwalk.

Adam - I love that Adam is funny and handsome.  He seems comfortable with the fact that the girls in his class think he is cute.  I love his big heart.  While it often hides, it is kind and sensitive.  I love that he protects his siblings.  Adam will always come to the defense of his brothers and sisters when they might be getting in trouble.  I love that he loves music and is a great dancer.  A mix of James Brown and Michael Jackson is flowing in this kid.

Erin - I love her independence.  While sometimes its frustrating, I know she will be just fine doing whatever she sets her mind to.  I love that she wears her socks up and not folded over.  I love that she is challenged by her big brothers and it motivates her to learn or be better at something.  She will not be left in the dust.  I love her beautiful blue eyes.

Brenna - I love her unique green eyes.  I love her loving heart and big personality.  I love that she sings and dances around much of the day.  I think she will be a talented dancer someday.  I love how much she loves her daddy.  The few moments before he leaves for work and when he comes home are her favorite parts of the day.  Joy in its purest form.

Ready for School

Brenna started preschool today.  Last night when I told her that school was starting she danced around the living room forever singing and dancing.  This kid loves preschool!  Here are all the kids ready for school on their first day.

One year older and wiser too...

It's been an interesting few days in our household.  Gearing up for school has been a little intense this year.  There have been some big changes and some small ones too.  This year Matthew started Jr. High.  He is excited, nervous, and ready for whatever comes his way.  He has to catch his bus (first time bus rider) around 7 am.  What is with that!  Man I really have to get my sleep schedule adjusted.  Anyway, he was ready to go in his red shoes that caught his eye the moment we walked in the store.  I stood on the porch in my robe to see if the bus would show up since there was NO information for bus students available at the school.  We asked around and figured an approximate time.  When I saw it drive by at the end of the street I figured he was on it.

Adam is in third grade.  He has had a rough week and I can tell that he has been anxious.  For some lame reason the school didn't have a back to school night until tomorrow.  Seriously lame.  Adam needs that time to familiarize himself with change.  Instead he has been worried and stressed.  I took him to his classroom and mentioned to his teacher that he was anxious but he did great.  He found his desk and friends and gave me a wave to let me know it was going to be okay.  He looked so handsome!

Erin, well this kid has a little of me in her.  She walked in found her desk, and started chatting away with the boy next to her.  She is going to first grade and is in full day school.  No nerves.  No concerns about lunch.  Annoyed that I was there hovering around and telling her to pay attention.  I just have to shake my head.  The super shy, stoic baby has transformed into a confident, expressive little girl.

Brenna, well she doesn't start until next week.  She does not want to wait for preschool

Pictures to come soon.

Summer Vacation 2010

Initially we were headed to Yellowstone for vacation this year but due to late planning we were unable to find lodging.  With the recent bear attack and my bad back we decided that camping probably wouldn't be a good idea.  Someone at Peter's work has a condo in Steamboat Springs Colorado and offered us a great deal.  So last minute we changed plans and off we went.  We had a great time in the mountains.  Here are some pictures of what we did while we were there.  One memorable event happened when the boys went tubing down the Yampa river.  The pictures were taken just as they were starting.  About 20 minutes later a huge thunder cloud rolled in over the mountains and just let loose.  Lightning, thunder, and pouring rain for about 15 minutes.  I figured Peter would pull the boys out of the river onto the bank.  I drove up and down to try and find them but had no luck.  Peter later told me that the lightning was very close, so they got onto a grassy bank, and put their tubes up over them in a triangle.  He said that Adam had big tears in his eyes and Matthew was really scared.  He asked them if they wanted to say a prayer and ask Heavenly Father for protection and comfort.  With a big Yes, they said a little prayer.  Both boys calmed down and the storm passed quickly.  They got back in the river and finished the ride.  It warmed my heart to think of my boys huddled under the tubes in the driving rain, saying a prayer.  I have good boys.

Off they go...

Showing off for the girls

The kids loved the walk to the waterfall

This horse let all the kids pet it.  He could sense they were nervous.

Alpine slide

Slot canyons at Dinosaur National Monument

Soothing The Soul

Today, I really miss playing my violin.  At one time I was a pretty good violinist.  If I had practiced more, I probably could have been much better.  But I was content just enjoying where I was with my playing.  I also sang alto in choir after choir.  For so many years in high school and college, my life was full of music.  I have music in my life today but it's so focused on the kids that I forget to put something on that soothes MY soul.  One of my clearest memories performing was when I was entering high school.  I was on tour with the Granite Youth Symphony.

 I was a "pre-soph" which was the bottom of the totem pole.  But I was happy to be there sitting in the back of the 2nd violin section right in front of the percussion and more specifically the tympani.  We were performing at an international educators conference in Oregon and the piece was "Mars. The Bringer of War" from The Planets by Gustav Holst (listen to Mars here). Listen to it, close your eyes.  It's intense, and even more so when you are sitting in the middle of it.  It was one of the first times I experienced going into a zone of sorts.  You really have to focus because parts of the music are in 5/4 timing.  So you focus so hard and only see your music and the conductor, listening, getting swept away in it. Like tunnel vision I suppose. When the piece ended,  I remember standing up toward the roaring crowd, with chills, and teary eyes, allowing the emotion to sweep over me, the sensation to engulf me.  I think everyone needs to experience something in their life that makes them feel the way I did that night.

In college, I played with the USU symphony orchestra.  I had another amazing experience like the one above.  It was the orchestra combined with the choral and several soloists performing "Ode To Joy"  Beethoven's 9th symphony.  There is a part at the end that builds to almost a frenzy and I remember seeing broken bow hairs flying from several players.  I still weep every time I hear it.  This is a picture of me before a performance in my concert black.  Yes, yes, that is very big hair.  Teased to perfection!

Today, I miss playing my violin.

Application

Well, I officially submitted my application for employment.  Its been awhile.
What I am feeling:  nervous, excited, just a little overwhelmed.
Its one of those times when things line up and the right things happen...I feel blessed

We need to go to Arizona

Today when Erin was getting ready she came to show me two shirts that she was considering.  She asked me which shirt I thought was cute.  I picked the one that matched the Sun dress she was going to wear to church.  She showed me the other shirt and the rest of the conversation went like this...

Erin, "But Mom, this shirt is better because it has these flowers on it right here".

Me, "Yes, its a cute shirt, but the other one matches your dress"

Erin, "But I like the one we got in Arizona. We need to go to Arizona to get some more cute shirts"

Me, "Erin, we didn't get that shirt in Arizona"

Erin, "Yes we did, just look at the tag, it says Arizona"

Me, "Arizona is the name of the company that makes clothes, including that shirt"

Erin not convinced, "Oh, well, we still need to go to Arizona"

Me, "Yes, we should go to Arizona"

After this Erin skipped away satisfied and put on the other shirt that matched her dress...

My Little Dancers

Both girls took dance this year.  I remember as a kid always wanting to take dance.  I think I did once, but the truth of the matter was that my parents had 8 kids and it just wasn't in the cards.  I was not deprived mind you, I had 10 years of violin lessons, and got to take community classes like gymnastics, or basket weaving (yes, I took this and it was fun), but dance is a yearly commitment and it can be expensive.  I decided that while my kids were young I would let them try a variety of things, and then let them focus with their talents.  This year's dance recital was so fun.  Both girls loved performing.  Erin's group actually won a competition for their age group at a dance competition earlier in the year.  They were the two youngest groups and they had no fear.  They got out there and loved every minute of it.  Best of all, both pairs of grandparents came and that made their night.

Who lives in a Zoo?

We visited the zoo recently, sometimes I'm not sure if I belong in or out.

Love Notes

Adam and I don't always get along.  Even though this is a struggle for us, I always know the true feelings of his heart.  Its the sweet, loving part of him that leaves me notes like this.  I found this one stuck to my computer.
I love you too Adam.

He's gonna have a locker

Today I went to Matthew's advancement ceremony from his elementary.  He received awards in academics, physical fitness, honor roll, and was selected as one of 5 kids in the grade to perform.  He played his own version of Axel F on the keyboard.  It was fun to hear the kids in the grade cheer for him.  He was a little nervous but still did a great job.  It wasn't until a few minutes ago that it sank in, that my oldest is going to Jr. High.  He will have a locker, roam the halls, flirt with girls, and all that new stuff.  My first born is growing up... I see glimpses of a more mature kid.  Not only do I love him, but I like who he is becoming too.

Back In Business

I took a little blog hiatus the past few weeks due to a unwanted reunion with back pain.  Its something that has been a part of my life since my early 20's due to some strong genetic influence and maybe some external influences as well.  I'm sure bungee jumping, 4 wheeling, and other high impact activities of my youth made their contribution to a couple of disc failures in my lower lumbar area (L4-L5 to be exact. This is low back just before your behind)  So sitting hurts the most.  Its been an issue off and on over the years but with a little extra rest, anti-inflammatory meds and on occasion some good pain medicine, it settles down and I forget about it.

I wish I could blame this last incident on a brawl with the nasty water aerobics lady at the pool over whether or not mothers could have small boys (0-5yrs) in the dressing room.  But alas it wasn't.  I wash trying to wash Brenna's hair after swimming lessons and she moved away from me and I leaned over to pull her back.  I felt it at that moment and knew that I was going to be sorry for awhile.  The next day I was sort of functional.  I call it the caveman walk.  Unfortunately it didn't stop there.

By day 3 it was bad.  So bad, I called and made an appointment with a M.D.   For those of who know me, it has to be bad for me to go to see a doc.  The last two times I made an appointment with a doc, I ended up with breathing treatments, and surgery to remove a grumpy appendix.  I'm not sure how I got Brenna and I dressed, into the car, and to the doctors office.  Really, its a little blurry.  All I know is that when I got there, I just stood in the waiting room and cried while little Brenna gently rubbed my arm.  It was really quiet in the waiting room as everyone glanced over at the lady who refused to sit, and cried.  Now, its not pretty when I cry.  My eyes get bloodshot red, my skin goes blotchy, and I couldn't move to get a tissue.  Got a good visual?  So they call my name, I cling to the wall with each step.  Again, no chatter in the busy office, just staring as I go by.  The assistant says to go directly to x-ray.  The tech says, climb up on the table and lay down.  I must have shot daggers at her with my eyes, because she quickly grabbed a step stool and offered to assist me.  I'm laying down.  Fine, okay now turn over onto your side...now the other side,  oh we have to do that one again.... Sobbing now.  She has learned and says "can I help you down?"  Somehow I get down, get dressed, and cling to the imaginary bar on the wall to the patient room.  Doc comes in...looks around to find me, I'm standing behind the door against the table for support on two sides.  Legs shaking, crying, and just a pure blubber mess.  Brenna was coloring Tinkerbell.  He asks a few questions and recognizes that if he even tries to touch me I would deck him.  He is smart and keeps it short, tells me what I already know about how messed up my back is, and then starts writing scripts for pain control.  He asks me how I got there.  I told him I drove...he shakes his head and says that he can only give a shot of Toradol right then because I will have to drive home.  I say, yes, yes, Toradol now would be good.  Now!

The next few days pretty much meshed together, I was on a great cocktail of muscle relaxers, narcotic pain medicine, and anti-inflammatory meds.  I was so out of it I missed my first physical therapy appointment.  I slept right through it.  So now, with a little PT, rest, and limited movement, I'm functioning again.

If you made it to the end of my tale (pun intended) I commend your endurance.  Hopefully, I'll be back in the saddle before no time.  Okay, maybe not the saddle, but you get the picture.  The irony of it all, is that water aerobics is one of the best methods of exercise for this. Nice.

Let the pictures do the talking

Not feeling much for words lately, unless you count the heated exchange in the locker room at the pool with the nasty water aerobics lady.  I figured I would post some photos of whats been happening in our world lately.

It's been a little busy around here.