A gift of words I needed to hear

A gift from scooper that I needed to hear.  I struggle with this and relate all too well.  I wish I could bleep out a word or two but the core of the message is worth listening to.

Photo catch up

I've had a lot to say and therefore have neglected some events this fall.  A photo essay to catch up.

First day of school

Adam singing with the primary choir at general conference.

Regatta

A view from the back steps

Matthew's 14th birthday with friends and family in St. George.

Glimpses

Lately I have had some of those glimpses of the future.  You know, when you look at one of your kids and you suddenly see a teenager or an adult and then they are a kid again.  Its kinda cool and yet kinda freaky too.  My oldest has discovered his hairstyle, hygiene, and girls.  I'm having fun with him and new outlook.  The other day we went to the store and he talked non-stop about whatever thought was moving through his head.  For those of you with teenagers, you know that it seems to be non-stop talking or no talking (aside from the mumbled I don't know) pending the hormonal moment.  I get a lot of info when its talking time... 

Next in line so wants to be older and yet just isn't there and its the daily struggle of enjoying being a kid and wanting to be respected and included by the older brother.  Its been hard to have your big brother move on to Jr. High and suddenly want to have some privacy.  He's adapting.  At the same time its great to see him develop his own talents without influence or comment.

Younger/Older sister is the one that scares me a bit.  I will look at her and suddenly see a 16 year old standing in front of me.  A beautiful, strong willed teenager.  I'm in for it.  But at the same time interested to see what she can do.  She fluctuates between "don't even look at me" and hugs and kisses as she runs by.  I sometimes imagine it amplified to prepare myself.

Little sister is finding her voice.  Baby of the family and working it.  The older version I imagine will be a little dramatic, emotional, and fun.  She will be the girly girl, lots of time in the mirror, and at the mall.  Maybe she will give me a mommy makeover. 

I'm enjoying this phase.

On my way up

So I was a bit in the dumps when I last posted.  Good news that I'm on my way up.  Peter let me have a nice cry and then I decided to move on.  He has been really sick lately and has not been able to help much by way of getting ready for the holidays.  I think the stress of helping one of my kids pass off times tables (this has been top of the stress list due to the tantrums that accompany it each night),  work, kids, and trying to figure out gifts, just left me depleted.  So we talked and decided to keep it simple this year and allow the spirit of this season enter back into our home.  As much as I wanted to get back into sending out holiday cards this year, well its probably not going to happen and I need to be okay with that, again.  Maybe I will post something here or send out an email.  Hopefully loved ones will understand.  We are giving gifts but really its been scaled back and this is such a relief for me.  I also treated myself to some Handel's Messiah, which was key.  There is nothing like turning off the lights, turning on the Christmas tree lights, and playing the Messiah and just feeling the music. 

Waiting for bottom

Tis the season....but I'm struggling.  The thing is, I don't know who reads this blog and just how personal do you get.  Its a journal for me.  But at the same time, its public.  I'm pretty honest and upfront with those around me.  I don't make it a point to go and announce my every thought and feeling.  With that in mind, I am having a hard time feeling the joy.  Its a falling sensation, waiting for bottom but it doesn't seem to be there.  I'm okay.  Really.  Its just annoying.  I need to go put on Handel's Messiah or something...

Just had one of those moments, a little prayer answered.  I stopped typing there for a minute because as soon as the words showed up on the screen, I knew it was what I needed.  When I hear that music and those words, I can partake.  It will be okay, and I won't forget to say another little prayer of gratitude.