So the clear out began. It actually doubled as Spring cleaning but I won't let her in on that. We got some packing boxes and started loading books, toys, stuffed animals, art work from the walls, notebooks, and well anything else left in the room. The crying was exceedingly great. I am the MEANEST mom in the WORLD. I debated the furniture. Initially I had planned to take it too, but to be honest, I was tired and did not have anywhere to put it. I rationalized that since she helped me pack up some of it I would leave it for now. She also volunteered to vacuum so she got the choice between earning her pillow or her blankie for being cooperative. She chose the blankie. I also gave her an ultimatum on the clothing. For now its in her drawers. She has two days to demonstrate an effort to get up and get ready in the morning before a certain time. If she chooses not to cooperate then she will lose those too. She gets really upset if I chose her clothing so this is big. If she loses her clothes I will set an outfit out in the morning (of my choosing) and she needs to get upstairs in time to get ready. If she doesn't then she goes to school in her PJ's. She can earn back one thing at a time as she shows she is willing to follow the rules each day.
Am I the meanest mom in the world? I know it seems really strict but nothing, I mean NOTHING has motivated her. And I figure if we don't break this cycle now it will just get worse. I would love some feedback or suggestions if you have had some success with this type of stuff.
On the bright side, her room has never been so clean :)
oh, poor little erin. i can just see the tears. but i can totally understand what you're going through. i should tell ella this story as a reminder to be good. good luck and hopefully this will work. we need to have erin come over. my sister is coming this week, but i'll call you and have her come play next week.
ReplyDeleteThat. Is. Awesome. It's hard to come up with an effective punishment, and I love that you have a plan for further consequences. I tend to threaten punishments, then hesitate when it comes to following through. You have inspired me. I hope all of this works well for you!
ReplyDeleteGood job, Lara. I am sure that was quite a battle. The important thing is that she (hopefully) now respects your authority and knows that you mean business. I have had to do similar things in the past and "yes" it does help. BUT, consistency is key. The other key is to PRAISE her when she follows the rules so she WANTS to keep doing it! Hang in there!! :)
ReplyDeleteSounds good to me. I know I don't know much about parenting yet, but - this is lame - I watch Dr. Phil and this is exactly what he would suggest; I'm sure. Good for you for sticking with something that seems to be pretty difficult. :)
ReplyDeleteAWESOMENESS. I think earning back pieces of her room is brilliant. You are great. Love this. She will become empowered when she makes choices that mean good things for her life.
ReplyDeleteSo...I am pretty late catching up on things. But, I think it is brilliant...painful, but brilliant. I hope that she has earned back some of her belongings by now. And, no, you aren't the world's meanest mom...just ask my girls. :)
ReplyDeleteWow. I LOVE IT! I am totally going to tuck this one away because I'm pretty sure we're going to need it with Ella. Two years old and she's already a spicy little firecracker. You're awesome.
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