My oldest is in a play at the Jr. High. They have rehearsal everyday after school. Today while I was running around town I got a call and it goes something like this...
Mom, we are super hungry. We need some food.
What? I'm really busy.
Can you bring us Arby's curly fries? (sounding annoyed)
No. I'm not your on call delivery person. I have to run to the post office and then pick up Brenna from Dance. Besides the nearest Arby's is far away. Why would you think I would drop everything and bring you food at school? And...it bugs me that you seem annoyed that I happened to be busy.
Sigh...no just wondering if you would.
Sorry. bye.
Then I drove for a minute. Pondering the audacity of my 14 yr old and his call for food. Then I thought about when I was 14 and the super cool ideas I had at the time that most certainly involved a parent to make it happen. Then I thought about the fact that he is a good kid and that I ride him pretty hard to maintain good grades. Then I thought about how cool it was to have a mom that did that kind of stuff for me. Then I thought about the kind of mom I wanted to be. Did I want to be the mom who was stuffy and stiff all the time. You know, the kind that your kid can't wait to get away from. Or did I want to be the kind of mom that might go out of her way a bit to bring a snack over to a hungry kid and his friends at play practice.
I pulled into the nearest gas station, loaded up a bag of munchers, and headed toward the school. I called and told him I wasn't going out of my way to Arby's but I did pick up something and would meet him at the door in 5 minutes. His response.. Yes! Sweet! thanks mom.
You are a cool and a good mom. I love that story.
ReplyDeleteThis made me super happy -- like I wanted to cheer. Great mom. I want to remmeber this for when my kids get pre-teen/teenagerish so I don't forget that while they need reality and boundaries, it is also OK to be awesome sometimes!
ReplyDeleteGood for you. I think it's great to be that "cool parent" every once and awhile. Although I wouldn't beat yourself up for being the good parent most of the time. I grew up with a mother who is mentally ill and often times when she was manic she did a lot of "cool mom" type stuff, but would go pretty overboard. I think even at that time I yearned for the good parent vs. the cool parent. Just saying that it's not all it's cracked up to be. It sounds like your mother was a good balance and I bet you are too.
ReplyDeleteI think you just proved that the good mom and the cool mom CAN be one in the same. Probably not always. But it's those "sometimes" of cool mom things that will stick in the memory. All the other times when the good mom prevails will be what molds kids' characters.
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