Friday, April 13, 2012
Cruel or Effective Parenting
When my kids were little, saying shut up or calling names were not allowed. As my kids have gotten older I find that these things are now creeping into our daily lives. Not only do the kids use these words between each other, they have been turned my direction. Still NOT okay. I have tried taking away things, grounding, and assigning despised tasks. It doesn't seem to be making much impact. The talk back is getting much worse. I get that as kids get older they feel the need to express themselves this way. I want my kids to have good communication. Thats just it...good communication. Not bad mouthing whenever they feel the urge. So, after a discussion with my mom she reminded me of a time when hot peppers were an effective way of getting her kids to keep their mouths in check. I was older and didn't have the opportunity to partake in such methods. But I have to admit, it sounded pretty good. I weighed my options. Decided I probably could sway a judge if ever hauled to court for cruel and unusual punishment. Went to the store and purchased peppers. Some mildly hot ones and some really hot ones. This week I tried it and guess what? It worked pretty well. After a warning that was ignored, I cut off part of a mild hot pepper and made the child chew for a few seconds and then gave the option to swallow or spit. I heard about 10 minutes of loud crying/yelling complaint. I'm a horrible mother who tortures her children. Then silence. Other children observing from their rooms...they now know I am serious. So, cruel or effective parenting? Go ahead, I can take it. I really want to know if I have crossed the line.
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Sometimes you have to really shake things up to get the kids' attention. I would guess that you won't have to use the rest of the peppers for anyone else. It's good the other kids all observed. They have to know that respect is serious business. Next time you threaten something, they'll probably take you seriously. Besides, I doubt peppers can be considered as toxic as Lifeboy! ;)
ReplyDeleteI shut Norah in the pantry when she has a tantrum so she won't wAke up Jonah. She spends a LOT of time in there. In fact, she's in there now. The other kids call it the closet, and tell everyone I "lock Norah in the closet." For this and other reasons, the "meanest mom on the block" position has already been taken. Love the pepper idea. That or soap.
ReplyDeleteI have found the hot sauce to have some success but in the little kids 4-6 it really is about fear more than honoring me as their mother. The hour long fits after an application have made me drop the consequence. I don't think it's terrible, but I know in one state a mom was in fact found guilty of something abuse because of using a hot pepper/ hot sauce technique on her kid. So, don't tell your update neighbor. ;)
ReplyDeleteWe had hot sauce used on us as kids. I didn't think of it as cruel (although I typically didn't mouth off and get it!). It's not toxic, and it was only used when we were older and really knew what we were doing. I did read about a mom who got in trouble using hot sauce, but she was using it on a special needs child who was only 7 years old or so, and she also made him stand in a freezing cold shower and other things. That all does seem cruel to me. A little hot sauce for a normal, older child who should know better does not seem cruel to me. Especially if they know the consequences beforehand.
ReplyDeleteI beg to differ on your memory. I do think you recieved a hot pepper or two...
ReplyDeleteHowever, you have blocked it out of your mind. But did you ever have to cut your own willow stick from the backyard willow tree? Just getting sent out there to cut one off, put me in my place. :) Love ya, Lisa