Graduation

I was hoping to post the professional pictures from graduation but it looks like it will be awhile.  So here are a few home grown photos of the big day.  I'm glad that we were required to attend graduation.  It signified the end of a long couple of years of study.  I'm so glad my family was there to celebrate with me.

Hooding

My Family

Me in all the regalia

Slowly finding myself

Well, as the title says, I'm slowly finding myself.  Unwinding if you will.  I read a book!  Not a text!  Awhile ago Peter gave me a Kindle.  I was a bit ungrateful at the time.  You see we had had a discussion a few months earlier discussing the issue of ebooks and how he thought it was such a great thing, and how I really disliked the idea.  I like the feel of a book, pages, a cover to entice you, seeing in on a shelf beckoning you to read it.  Its old fashioned I know, I'm old.  I always wanted a library.  Shelves of books to browse at any given moment.  Something my kids could browse and pull selections from.  I know, I know, its all there online.  NOT the same.  Anyway, so we had this discussion and at the end of it he said how much he would like a kindle, I said how much I really did not want one, and we agreed to disagree.  I was heavy into school and hadn't read a non school book in a year and a half.  It just seemed a waste of money to me.

A few months later on Mother's Day, Peter said he had a surprise.  I opened mother coupons, drawings, and cards from the kids and Peter handed me this gift.  I opened it and it and there it was.  "Oh, thanks" I said.  and immediately got annoyed that he bought it for me after the recalling the conversation we had had.  Maybe I was having a one sided conversation.  Maybe he really wanted it and this was a way to ensure that one was in the house.  When was I going to use it, not for a long time (school remember).  I kinda let my thoughts be obvious.  He stated that he thought I would like it.  Really?  He will push me into things because he likes it and wants me to like it.  Usually they are technology related.  I get enough through him.  I don't need more.  So that annoyed me too.  I can have an opinion and yes it can be different that his.

So classes ended a month ago.  I suddenly had this space in my head.  I picked the thing up.  I irritably asked him how to order a book.  I was not going to read one that was already down loaded.  I pick my own books thank you very much!  I decided to try a new author.  Bought it, downloaded it, (wow, that was easy).  And started reading.  I love to read.  As a teen I would stay up until all hours reading because I had to get to the end of the story.  I read my new book.  I've been carrying my kindle around our whole vacation.  Today, I manned up and ate crow.  I told Peter I was sorry for how I acted, and that I really like my new toy.  He knew I would.  That bothers me just a bit.

So back to finding myself.  I finished the book late last night.  Turned off the light and for the first time in years, felt a little like myself.  I love to read.  I remember this now and I won't forget it.   

Its nice to get away

We recently spent some time with my family at Bear Lake.  It was so nice to get away and just hang out. 

On a different topic, I heard this line from one of the kids movies and I liked it.

"Your choices make you who you are".
I'm sure its been heard before but it stood out to me. I think I want to put it on each of my kids wall so as they walk out each day they can read that and remember it.  Anyone have a creative craft or way to put it on the wall? 

A little ornery

Yep, I'm about to whine, so stop here if you have had your fill already.

Every single person in my house, including me, is ornery.  Hauling wet carpet, pad, furniture, toys, unidentified objects, and bedding from my children's rooms yesterday when the water came pouring in has left us all highly annoyed.  Now, I know that its minor compared to the real flooding going on out there but it still has put everyone on edge. I came home from work today and when the onslaught of crappy attitude came my way I thought to myself, I think I will go back to work.  Unfortunately, I really do have to go back to work because I had a complicated case today that has a mountain of charting that did not get finished because the magic bell went off and said its time for the babysitter to go home.  I can't stay until the work gets done, nooo it doesn't work that way for working mothers.  We get to go back when its later and kids are going to bed to finish our work away from work.

Boy, I'm starting to annoy myself now.

Whine session interrupted by Brenna
 "mom, do you want to see how high I can climb the door way?"
"not really"
"see, this is how high I can climb it"  as she climbs up the door jam
"do you feel like getting me a snack now?"
"not really"  as I decide I better get up and take care of the snack issue before she decides to get her own snack and you all can imagine what that might mean

Okay, session over, move on.

The new me?

I have to be honest, since school ended I have felt a little lost.  Not sure who I am anymore.  You take on this identity for a couple of years of being a student and then it just ends.  I was tired, stressed, and a bit grumpy for an exteded period of time.  Those are not words I would have used to describe myself before.  Can you forget how to be yourself or is this the new me?  I hope not!  Believe it or not people I used to be a bit extroverted, spontaneous, and positive.  Or was this just in my mind...now I'm not sure.

I hope he is okay

So I got in a car accident today.   I have never owned a brand new car until this year.  We have been true savers in buying almost new cars with just a few thousand miles on them for 20 years.  Until this year, we splurged and bought new.  I should have known it would happen.  Murphy's law.

So while it was a huge bummer that the Armada got crunched, it was the least important thing at that moment.  The crash was due to another driver running a stop sign.  I saw him last second and hit the breaks and swerved to the right so that our front corners hit instead of me T-boning his car.  That would have been really bad. 

As soon as we hit and stopped, I checked the kids, they were all okay.  I looked over and saw the other driver, he appeared to be okay.  Called 911 and got out to check on him.  You see, he was an elderly man with an oxygen tank sitting next to him.  As I walked around to his door, I saw his hat.  It was a well worn WW II Veterans hat.  I thought to myself that he HAD to be okay.  I could not stand the thought that I could have killed this great man.  There are so few left and I could have really hurt him.  His head was down.  I asked if he was okay.  He responded yes, but was quite dazed.  I told him I needed to call someone from his family to come and help him.  He pulled out his wallet and started to pull out each little paper with hand written notes on them.  He was shaking.  I gently asked him questioned as I assessed his condition.  Does your chest hurt?  Did you hit the steering wheel?  Are your legs okay?  He responded to each question with  quiet one word responses.  He found a paper with phone numbers, I tried the first two with no response.  The third was faded and I dialed several wrong numbers.  At that point the sheriff arrived and took over.  I didn't get to talk to him again after that.  I expressed my concern about him to the sheriff and he assured me that he would make sure he was alright.

For much of the day, I spoke to insurance people, auto body people, medical claims people, rental car people, lots of people.  Its almost bed time and my mind goes back to him.  I hope he is okay.

done

I just submitted my last final of my last class.  I thought I would feel relieved but I mostly feel depleted.  Maybe it will sink in tomorrow.