The other day I was driving down the road with my two girls in the back. As we came up on an intersection I noticed a young woman with a sign. It said something like "help me leave your city". My 8 yr old read it outloud as we waited for the light to turn green. I noticed that she had on a very full backpack. She had on layers of worn clothes. On the ground next to her was another small bag and a violin. It was the violin that made me read the sign then look at the girl holding it. So young. She was so young, maybe 18 or so. The light turned and we started to drive and then that discontent that makes your heart ache. I looked for a place to turn around. I drove around the block. Not sure what I was going to do. I had two kids in the car. She was on an island away from the sidewalk. I prayed for a stop light. I got it. I stopped. Then started to wave at her to come over...I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a dollar. No. A five and rolled down the window. She came over, I told her I noticed her violin. She said she wished she could play me a song. I said it was okay, and wished her luck. She thanked me and I started to drive away as the light had turned and there was a line of cars behind me waiting to move.
I drove away, and wished I could have asked her name, how and why she was there. Where she was going, who she was. Instead I connected because she played the violin. She was going somewhere and her music was probably her solace. The one posession she valued most. When I passed back through the intersection awhile later. She was gone. We did something, but it feels like it was not enough.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Home-Fall
One Year Older
I uploaded some pictures from the camera and these 1st day of school pictures were in the mix. This year I look at my kids and just cannot believe how much they have changed over the past year.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Boys and Boats
About a year ago Matthew and Peter came home from scouts and told me about a high adventure trip the Teachers group were planning. I thought it sounded like a lot of fun. They were building their boats from scratch. Its a cross between a canoe and a kayak. Its called a Canack or Kanak or something like that. They got their instructions and over the past year they worked on their boats. The cut and sanded the wood, glued and nailed, painted the frame, stretched the canvas, sealed and painted the canvas, installed seats and cup holders, and finally tested them to see if they were float worthy. In August all of the boys, most of the fathers, leaders, and some adventure seekers, loaded up the boats and headed out. They ended up floating 30 miles down the river over two days. The caught raccoons at night and got sunburned during the day. They ate good food and had a lot of fun. I was so proud to see the end result. There were times when we tired of working on boats all the time, but in the end, it was worth it.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
The next level
My girls have taken dance for several years. This past year the company they dance with did several competitions. I ended up buying 5 costumes, paying for several competition fees, and being quite stressed with the unexpected expenses and time it took. I voiced that maybe the dance company should create some Competition teams so that those who want to do them can, and those that don't can do a regular class. With the expansion of dancers and a new studio this is exactly what the company ended up doing. I thought great, my girls can still dance and have fun and not feel the financial and time stress we had felt that year.
So audition time came around. The teacher gave the impression that she wanted my girls to be on the comp teams. I didn't have them audition. I signed them up for regular dance. For my younger girl it was fine. There were several other new girls in her new class. She had a good time. For my older girl its a different story. I dropped her off at dance. She was a minute or two early and the only one there. She wasn't new so I left. When I came to pick her up she was dancing with the comp team 2 years younger. They practice at the same time. There had only been a couple of people in her class so they had them join the other class. The new teacher asked the owner why she hadn't made the comp team. All of the girls she has danced with the past few years make up the comp team for her age. All except her. The owner then started to tell me that she was so much better than the others in her regular class that day. Then asked me if I would reconsider our decision. Was it the money, was it the time? I told her both, which is true.
I had felt good about the direction we were going. My daughter wanted to try violin this year and she is already in piano. A regular dance class was already a lot. I still have 3 other kids in activities too. I told her that she would have to choose dance or violin. We both sat in the car and cried in the parking lot. She comforted me as I apologized to her that she could not do all of the things she wanted to. I feel like such a louse. Am I holding her back? Is it just pressure? Does she really love it that much or is it about being with her friends? I told her to take some time and think about what she wanted to do. She is already telling me that she wants to do regular dance, but my gut tells me she is saying that because she is trying to show restraint. This is good (she is maturing), but I feel so bad. If she had had a full group of girls in her regular class I don't think this would have been an issue today. But she doesn't want to dance with the little girls. I may ask if there is an older regular class she can attend instead. I don't know. Does anyone else go through this stuff? How do you handle it?
So audition time came around. The teacher gave the impression that she wanted my girls to be on the comp teams. I didn't have them audition. I signed them up for regular dance. For my younger girl it was fine. There were several other new girls in her new class. She had a good time. For my older girl its a different story. I dropped her off at dance. She was a minute or two early and the only one there. She wasn't new so I left. When I came to pick her up she was dancing with the comp team 2 years younger. They practice at the same time. There had only been a couple of people in her class so they had them join the other class. The new teacher asked the owner why she hadn't made the comp team. All of the girls she has danced with the past few years make up the comp team for her age. All except her. The owner then started to tell me that she was so much better than the others in her regular class that day. Then asked me if I would reconsider our decision. Was it the money, was it the time? I told her both, which is true.
I had felt good about the direction we were going. My daughter wanted to try violin this year and she is already in piano. A regular dance class was already a lot. I still have 3 other kids in activities too. I told her that she would have to choose dance or violin. We both sat in the car and cried in the parking lot. She comforted me as I apologized to her that she could not do all of the things she wanted to. I feel like such a louse. Am I holding her back? Is it just pressure? Does she really love it that much or is it about being with her friends? I told her to take some time and think about what she wanted to do. She is already telling me that she wants to do regular dance, but my gut tells me she is saying that because she is trying to show restraint. This is good (she is maturing), but I feel so bad. If she had had a full group of girls in her regular class I don't think this would have been an issue today. But she doesn't want to dance with the little girls. I may ask if there is an older regular class she can attend instead. I don't know. Does anyone else go through this stuff? How do you handle it?
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Mormon Musings
OK. I'm back. Had a hard time getting focused the past few months but with kids back in school I feel I have a few moments now and then to think. I posted an article today on perceptions of Mormons in academics. I blogged here about an experience I had while interviewing for an academic position. The LDS church is getting a lot of exposure with Romney as the republican nomination. Its been interesting to watch people in how they act, what they say. This article reminded me of a time when I lived in Boston. Peter was attending a Jewish liberal arts grad school, I was working at a Jewish affiliated hospital. We had friends and colleagues that were Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, Episcopalian, Methodist, Hindu and Atheist. It was a time that we cherished as we learned about other religions and other cultures different than our own. It was also a time of growth for the LDS church in New England as a Temple had been announced to be build in Belmont just a few miles away from where we lived. Of course we were thrilled with this but we quickly found out that there were many that were not.
At the time, part of my work was with hearing aid fittings. A major hearing aid manufacturer had their northeast facility in the Greater Boston area. We trained regularly with this company and used their products on a daily basis. My colleagues and I had been invited to a workshop that included a luncheon with the company owners. My boss was good friends with the managing director of the company and we were invited to sit with the big wigs at lunch. Conversation was mostly work related in the beginning and everyone was enjoying themselves. My boss asked the director how his family was and he replied that things were good at home except that his home was on the border of the property designated as the Mormon Temple site. Then he talked about all things he couldn't stand about the Mormons and how they were going to ruin the value of his property. I saw my boss get nervous as the conversation turned. He tried repeatedly to change the subject but this man had plenty to say. My boss then tried to engage me in a personal conversation so that I would be distracted by what was being said at the table. I politely said that I wanted to hear what this man had to say. I tried to give my boss reassurance with my expression that it would be okay. I then mentioned that I had heard that property values located next to Mormon temples significantly increased due to the beauty of the building and grounds. He brushed that off. Eventually the conversation changed again much to the relief of my boss. I have to say I had the best co-workers ever and those that knew what had happened gave me looks of apology. It was okay. I was okay. I understood the concerns this man had. But I also knew that he would be surprised by the beauty and peaceful nature of the temple grounds in years to come.
As the church started plans for the temple, opposition started to rise in the community. So much opposition that they started to schedule regular community meetings to answer questions and hear concerns from the public. Peter and I decided to check out one of these meetings. We were overwhelmed at the numbers of people who showed up and the vehemence in which they spoke. The meeting we attended lasted hours. People lined up behind the microphone to object to the size of the building, the lighting, the angle of the shadow of the steeple, you name it and it was discussed. Eventually the church agreed to reduce the size of the building, to turn the lights down at a certain time, and to angle the building so that the shadow of the steeple would cast over the highway. These were just a few of the accommodations made to appease the community. It was a hard day as I found out what others thought about me.
Why did I tell these two experiences? Because I learned something from them. I learned that people are afraid of the unknown or unfamiliar. Its human nature to be wary, defensive, narrow minded, and protective of the things that are important to us. With this new exposure and the possibility of a Mormon President, we have an opportunity to educate, to set an example, to open the minds and hearts of those who may be ready to put up a wall of ignorance. It is not productive to be defensive. It is productive to live by example, have open dialogue, be loving, and accepting of others who may be afraid, or not know what Mormons are all about. Our Savior was the ultimate example of how to treat others and if we claim to want to be like him, then we should do just that.
At the time, part of my work was with hearing aid fittings. A major hearing aid manufacturer had their northeast facility in the Greater Boston area. We trained regularly with this company and used their products on a daily basis. My colleagues and I had been invited to a workshop that included a luncheon with the company owners. My boss was good friends with the managing director of the company and we were invited to sit with the big wigs at lunch. Conversation was mostly work related in the beginning and everyone was enjoying themselves. My boss asked the director how his family was and he replied that things were good at home except that his home was on the border of the property designated as the Mormon Temple site. Then he talked about all things he couldn't stand about the Mormons and how they were going to ruin the value of his property. I saw my boss get nervous as the conversation turned. He tried repeatedly to change the subject but this man had plenty to say. My boss then tried to engage me in a personal conversation so that I would be distracted by what was being said at the table. I politely said that I wanted to hear what this man had to say. I tried to give my boss reassurance with my expression that it would be okay. I then mentioned that I had heard that property values located next to Mormon temples significantly increased due to the beauty of the building and grounds. He brushed that off. Eventually the conversation changed again much to the relief of my boss. I have to say I had the best co-workers ever and those that knew what had happened gave me looks of apology. It was okay. I was okay. I understood the concerns this man had. But I also knew that he would be surprised by the beauty and peaceful nature of the temple grounds in years to come.
As the church started plans for the temple, opposition started to rise in the community. So much opposition that they started to schedule regular community meetings to answer questions and hear concerns from the public. Peter and I decided to check out one of these meetings. We were overwhelmed at the numbers of people who showed up and the vehemence in which they spoke. The meeting we attended lasted hours. People lined up behind the microphone to object to the size of the building, the lighting, the angle of the shadow of the steeple, you name it and it was discussed. Eventually the church agreed to reduce the size of the building, to turn the lights down at a certain time, and to angle the building so that the shadow of the steeple would cast over the highway. These were just a few of the accommodations made to appease the community. It was a hard day as I found out what others thought about me.
Why did I tell these two experiences? Because I learned something from them. I learned that people are afraid of the unknown or unfamiliar. Its human nature to be wary, defensive, narrow minded, and protective of the things that are important to us. With this new exposure and the possibility of a Mormon President, we have an opportunity to educate, to set an example, to open the minds and hearts of those who may be ready to put up a wall of ignorance. It is not productive to be defensive. It is productive to live by example, have open dialogue, be loving, and accepting of others who may be afraid, or not know what Mormons are all about. Our Savior was the ultimate example of how to treat others and if we claim to want to be like him, then we should do just that.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
uninspired rambling
I have plenty of things to post about, trip to bear lake, cousin camp, family reunions, etc... But really just feeling uninspired. I just dread that feeling of empty... even though your life is full. Its a bit of an oxymoron in a way. I feel like I'm waiting, but not sure what I am waiting for. On the other hand, I have to ask my self what have I done lately to feel inspired? Not much. Time to pull up the boot straps.
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