My kids think I'm old fashioned but I have my reasons

I'm pretty moderate in my views.  While I don't screen every video game my kids might play, I will not purchase the violent games to have in my home.  We have a wii.  That's it.  Over the years Peter and I have considered getting a different game system but we usually come up with one reason not to spend that money.  I am not opposed to video games.  We have friends and family who are way into gaming and even into game development.  What I am opposed to is providing a medium in which my kids get sucked into hour after hour.  Our biggest issue is Ipod games.  Which I admit can also be violent but it seems that I am able to maintain better control over the amount of time spend on these devices.  I do believe that for the right person, daily practice in violence even in a game, can blur the lines of reality and right vs wrong.  Its about desensitizing the mind.  I'm guilty of it in other ways.  I know that its real threat to our ability to be sensitive to the spirit.  I admit I am a bit old fashioned.  I will not allow a TV in my kids room.  We have parent control passwords on our computer and TV.  I push my kids into trying new things like skiing, being in the school play, instruments, and outdoors.  My kids complain that they are the only children left on the planet that don't own an x-box or PlayStation.  I tell them too bad.  They roll their eyes.

I feel the same about guns.  I will never own a gun.  I do believe that it is our right to protect ourselves and that right should be maintained.  I don not believe that anyone outside the military should own an assault rifle.  Someone once proposed a scenario of war or terrorism where an assault rifle would be handy. Even in that situation I probably would still feel the same but you never know.  So far in my life I have been blessed to live in a country where that situation is not my everyday.

It makes me nervous every time my kids play in homes that contain guns.  When I ask my kids about guns at friends houses they can name them, where they are, and if they are locked up.  They probably could tell me where the key to the case is.  I know most parents think that they are smarter than their kids and hide the key.  I'm a realist and know that most kids know right where it all is, and how to get access to it.  I live in a place where many people own guns.  I accept this.  I however will never provide an opportunity for a child to have access to one in my home.  Can you tell I feel strongly about this? 

My sister is a reporter for a local news channel.  She covers the early morning news which on most days is quite depressing.  She covers the things that happen in the dark while we sleep.  Shootings, robbery, car accidents, and acts of violence that takes lives.  She sits with the families as they grieve the loss of their children who played with the gun that they got access to and shot themselves or their sibling while they tried to load the gun.  She hears the story of the kid that was just aiming and practicing like he does in the video game and didn't realize it was loaded.  She covers stories of home owners who got out their gun to protect themselves and were overtaken by their intruder and shot by their own gun, she covers school shootings of someone who was given a gun by their parent for their birthday.  Will not having a gun stop these events from happening?  No.  But I will not contribute to it.  Hearing these stories first hand from my little sister is enough to convince me that they do more harm than good.

Mental Health...Is this an issue? Yes.  Does it kill other people?  Not usually,unless there is access to a weapon.  And yes, I have quite a bit of experience with mental health.  Why am I thinking about this today.  Because this article made me think about it from a new perspective.  Read it... Its interesting.

http://peterbrownhoffmeister.wordpress.com/2013/03/04/on-school-shooters-the-huffington-post-doesnt-want-you-to-read-this/

Better

Better.  My mental state that is.  A work in progress.

Negative Thinking

Most of my life I have been a positive thinker.  Its been easy to think about the bright side.  I'm usually pretty good at taking the bad and moving past it toward better things.  I don't know if just this time of year is my down phase or maybe this time in my life.  Not sure.  I feel kicked to the curb.  People want me around to do the crap stuff but don't really care otherwise.   Been there?  Sure, I know everyone goes there.  I just don't go there very often.  I'm pretty good at turning off emotions and steadying the helm.  I'm in that state most of the time.  The problem with that is I'm not so good at turning them back on a moments notice.  I get called out on this frequently.  
 
So,  negative thinking.  Sucks.  The negative thought that kept me up most of the night last night was... Not only do they not need you they don't even want you.  So when you get kicked to the curb, do you wait there hoping someone comes back?  Or do you start walking and take care of your own needs.  What happens if they suddenly decide they do need or want you and you have moved on?

See what happened there?  That negative thinking plays out over and over.  I know that I can't rely on anyone to lean on.  Its up to me to climb out of the negative cycle.  Usually just expressing it gives me enough of a push upward. 

Right now I am teaching a song in Primary that moves me.  I find myself singing it often and it helps me remember that I am not alone.  It seems to help me get back to basics.

davidkat99  Made this for his daughters.  Its exactly what I hear and picture in my head when I think of  this song. 

I know Heavenly Father Loves Me

Whenever I hear the song of a bird

Or look at the blue blue sky

Whenever I feel the rain on my face

Or the wind as it rushes by

Whenever I touch a velvet rose

Or walk by a lilac tree

I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world

Heavenly Father created for me.

He gave me my eyes that I might see

The color of butterfly wings

He gave me my ears that I might hear

The magical sound of things

He gave me my life, my mind, my heart

I thank him reverently

For all his creations of which I'm a part

Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me

Clara McMaster

It was my job to be the runner...

Tonight we had a spontaneous discussion after our family prayer.  Peter and I both mentioned that we wanted the kids to pay particular attention to others this week.  To their siblings, friends, neighbors, and anyone that could use some service or a friend.  Peter mentioned that there might be some families or friends that may not have a lot of money for Christmas.  One of the kids asked what we could do about it.  We explained about our fast offering donation and how it might benefit someone who may need it, but also talked about how a kind word or act toward someone may also be a gift. 

This discussion brought me back to my own childhood.  I remember many years during the holidays of these same type of discussions in my own home.  Having my dad as the bishop or in the bishopric gave him and us an awareness of need in our neighborhood.  I remember planning 12 days of Christmas for families needing physical things and others needing other types of support.  I was often the "runner".  I was old enough to be given this assignment but young and fast enough to be successful at it.  As the runner, it was my job to quietly take the item to the door, ring the bell, and RUN!  I usually got to the next house but often jumped into a bush or behind a tree to wait as the person opened the door, discovered their gift, looked around, and then closed the door again. 

It was a unique perspective that I had.  I watched as kids came piling out of a door with excitement to see what was left on the porch.  I watched adults look down with surprise then delight.  This happened 11 more times per family each year.  After the 1st or 2nd night they would catch on and realize there was more to come.  Sometimes it was so exciting I wanted to jump out of the bush and partake in the joy they felt.  Sometimes I sat silent, as an adult or child would quietly say Thank You to the dark lawn.  Now I realize that being the runner was the opportunity I needed to experience humility, true service, and love.

A year or two ago, our kids were fighting...a lot.  I remember thinking to myself that they needed something to interrupt their habit of quarreling and think about others.  Since it was Christmas time, I wrote each of their names on a paper and asked them to draw a name.  They were then assigned to be a Secret Santa to that person for the entire month.  To my delight they loved this idea and started immediately.  They left notes on pillows expressing their love and complimenting each others talents.  They did random acts of service by making a bed or picking up toys.  They left a treat taped to a door or in a backpack.  And then, they gave them a gift on Christmas and revealed who they were.  Each year they ask with anticipation when we are going to draw names for our sibling secret Santa.    I love that they love to do this. 

Now that they are getting a little older, I think its time to expand outside of our family circle.  Maybe its time to give our kids the opportunity to be a runner.  Maybe there is a better way out there.  I would love to hear others experiences and suggestions on teaching kids to give, serve, and love others.

My single vote

The presidential election is here.  As Americans we have the right to vote our leadership of this country.  There are many around the world who do not.  I have voted in every election since I was old enough to do so.  Why...because I can.  I can have a say on what my future holds. 

I remember when I was in high school.  I ran for Student Body President.  Representatives from each class were sent to the gym to hear our platforms and then vote for those who would go on to the general election.  We had to have a certain amount of votes to continue on. Guess what happened.  A certain group of kids from the school had decided that they would volunteer as class representatives and vote their own friends in as candidates instead of voting for those running for the office on official terms.  They showed up and elected a new set of candidates.  The rest of us were left wondering what happened.  It was effective and strategic planning on their part.  This set of new candidates however, were not wanted by the rest of the student body.  Those of us who did not make the primary, banded together and started a write in campaign.  Our write in candidate won.   I wasn't an SBO, but at a young age I learned a very important lesson about the power of my single vote.  Your single vote.  Others single vote.  They add up and they make change happen.

I have heard many say they are sick of politics, campaign ads, and everything else associated with this election.  Me too. But I will vote.  Its time.  Go vote. 

Debate take away...

I fell asleep during the debate.  Bunch of Malarkey and CNN's undecided voter comment about Biden acting like a Buffoon in General are what linger in my head.  Personally neither did it for me tonight but Biden was really annoying in his behavior.  So I guess I give style points to Ryan. 

Not Enough

The other day I was driving down the road with my two girls in the back.  As we came up on an intersection I noticed a young woman with a sign.  It said something like "help me leave your city".  My 8 yr old read it outloud as we waited for the light to turn green.  I noticed that she had on a very full backpack.  She had on layers of worn clothes. On the ground next to her was another small bag and a violin.  It was the violin that made me read the sign then look at the girl holding it.  So young.  She was so young, maybe 18 or so.  The light turned and we started to drive and then that discontent that makes your heart ache.  I looked for a place to turn around.  I drove around the block.  Not sure what I was going to do.  I had two kids in the car.  She was on an island away from the sidewalk.  I prayed for a stop light.  I got it.  I stopped.  Then started to wave at her to come over...I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a dollar. No.  A five and rolled down the window.  She came over, I told her I noticed her violin.  She said she wished she could play me a song.  I said it was okay, and wished her luck.   She thanked me and I started to drive away as the light had turned and there was a line of cars behind me waiting to move. 

I drove away, and wished I could have asked her name, how and why she was there.  Where she was going, who she was.  Instead I connected because she played the violin.  She was going somewhere and her music was probably her solace.  The one posession she valued most. When I passed back through the intersection awhile later. She was gone.  We did something, but it feels like it was not enough.