Had one of those reality checks in the middle of a WW meeting. Sitting there, not so happy that this week I only lost .2 lbs. Irritated that my little sis is a life timer and wanting to lose more. I sat there thinking about why she is able to do it. It seems so easy for her, and she looks fantastic. Discipline.
Blob. That's what I feel, look, and act like.
I had a rocky start in higher education. It took me until my Jr. year in college for things to click. I eventually mastered discipline with my studies. I achieved goals I never would have set for myself before then. So why is this stupid vice so stinking hard to get a hold of? I can tell you what is good for my body and what isn't. I can recite healthy tips out my you know what, but talking about it and dong it are two very different things. I can BS with the best of em. Sorry for the expletive but lets call a spade a spade.
So self discipline is discordant for me. While I have been able to achieve it in one aspect of my life, it really is a principle I struggle with. I would classify myself in the non-conforming category. This may seem an unlikely choice for those who know that I am LDS and live a very disciplined religious lifestyle. So maybe within those guidelines, I challenge myself to think broadly.
I remember as a little girl wanting to conform to what was popular or in style. There was that thing inside that pulled all the time to be a little different. I grew up in the 80's with pop music and big hair. All the girls wore pumps to school. We dressed up for school. I however, really loved Converse shoes. Back then they only made them for boys/men. So I figured out my size in boys, and wore them anyway. I still had big hair, tight jeans, shrugs with shoulder pads, I just eliminated the pumps and went with the converse. All white, converse. What I didn't know was that struggle to conform then would be a lifelong struggle in many aspects of my life.
Weight loss is all about self discipline. In order to lose weight you must conform your habits to whatever your chosen plan is. Without a plan it will not work. Making the plan is easy. Conforming your life, your every action, to that plan is difficult. I hate it. I hate every aspect of it. But I want to look, feel, and act differently than I do now. I'm hoping the reality check I had in my WW meeting today will help me realize that sometimes conforming to the outlined program will indeed get me to my goal. I have to trust it. More importantly I have to live it. ugh
Right there with you as I down a piece of pizza for lunch! I have control over a lot of other aspects in my life, but my eating--nope! Hang in there; maybe we will figure it out one day!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Peter. 7 pounds is great and .2 pounds is still a loss. Andy and I didn't have a great week either. He only lost .2 pounds too and I gained 1.2 pounds. It is not easy for me either. I'm glad you are doing WW because I know it works. Don't get down on yourself. This is a new week and I know you can do it. Keep plugging away at it. Love you :)
ReplyDeleteI wonder if that's my problem, too. The only time in my life I lived with strict discipline was college, and that was because I had to to keep from drowning in the music department. Your insight has given me a reality check, too. I am really good at complaining about my weight, my dirty house, my bad piano playing, etc., but I haven't been willing to conform to a schedule or a diet or a practice regimen. For the record, though, I totally tried to conform in high school when it came to fashion, but couldn't pull it off. I still can't pull it off. And by the way, you look fantastic.
ReplyDeleteIt takes so much discipline to do the things you've done in your career and education. You've got what it takes to do whatever you want. Sending you hugs!
ReplyDelete