Photo catch up

I've had a lot to say and therefore have neglected some events this fall.  A photo essay to catch up.

First day of school

Adam singing with the primary choir at general conference.

Regatta

A view from the back steps

Matthew's 14th birthday with friends and family in St. George.

Glimpses

Lately I have had some of those glimpses of the future.  You know, when you look at one of your kids and you suddenly see a teenager or an adult and then they are a kid again.  Its kinda cool and yet kinda freaky too.  My oldest has discovered his hairstyle, hygiene, and girls.  I'm having fun with him and new outlook.  The other day we went to the store and he talked non-stop about whatever thought was moving through his head.  For those of you with teenagers, you know that it seems to be non-stop talking or no talking (aside from the mumbled I don't know) pending the hormonal moment.  I get a lot of info when its talking time... 

Next in line so wants to be older and yet just isn't there and its the daily struggle of enjoying being a kid and wanting to be respected and included by the older brother.  Its been hard to have your big brother move on to Jr. High and suddenly want to have some privacy.  He's adapting.  At the same time its great to see him develop his own talents without influence or comment.

Younger/Older sister is the one that scares me a bit.  I will look at her and suddenly see a 16 year old standing in front of me.  A beautiful, strong willed teenager.  I'm in for it.  But at the same time interested to see what she can do.  She fluctuates between "don't even look at me" and hugs and kisses as she runs by.  I sometimes imagine it amplified to prepare myself.

Little sister is finding her voice.  Baby of the family and working it.  The older version I imagine will be a little dramatic, emotional, and fun.  She will be the girly girl, lots of time in the mirror, and at the mall.  Maybe she will give me a mommy makeover. 

I'm enjoying this phase.

On my way up

So I was a bit in the dumps when I last posted.  Good news that I'm on my way up.  Peter let me have a nice cry and then I decided to move on.  He has been really sick lately and has not been able to help much by way of getting ready for the holidays.  I think the stress of helping one of my kids pass off times tables (this has been top of the stress list due to the tantrums that accompany it each night),  work, kids, and trying to figure out gifts, just left me depleted.  So we talked and decided to keep it simple this year and allow the spirit of this season enter back into our home.  As much as I wanted to get back into sending out holiday cards this year, well its probably not going to happen and I need to be okay with that, again.  Maybe I will post something here or send out an email.  Hopefully loved ones will understand.  We are giving gifts but really its been scaled back and this is such a relief for me.  I also treated myself to some Handel's Messiah, which was key.  There is nothing like turning off the lights, turning on the Christmas tree lights, and playing the Messiah and just feeling the music. 

Waiting for bottom

Tis the season....but I'm struggling.  The thing is, I don't know who reads this blog and just how personal do you get.  Its a journal for me.  But at the same time, its public.  I'm pretty honest and upfront with those around me.  I don't make it a point to go and announce my every thought and feeling.  With that in mind, I am having a hard time feeling the joy.  Its a falling sensation, waiting for bottom but it doesn't seem to be there.  I'm okay.  Really.  Its just annoying.  I need to go put on Handel's Messiah or something...

Just had one of those moments, a little prayer answered.  I stopped typing there for a minute because as soon as the words showed up on the screen, I knew it was what I needed.  When I hear that music and those words, I can partake.  It will be okay, and I won't forget to say another little prayer of gratitude.

Thankful for many things

I'm thankful for many things.  Mostly my family.  I love my husband and children beyond words and I'm so thankful for the little things they do for me every day.  I talk a lot about them here.  But there are some family members I haven't told how much they mean to me.  My siblings.  There are a lot of us.  We get together as a whole family regularly but I live the furthest away from most of them so I don't get to see them much one on one.  I forget to tell them how much they mean to me and what I love about them.  So here I go...

Lisa- My only older sibling who quietly paves the way for the rest of us.  I love that Lisa is kind, gentle, and loving. She is is generous with all that she has.  I love being able to call her and get her feedback on whatever I might need advice on. I am thankful that she loves me the way I am and makes me feel like I matter. 
Jared- We are six years apart in age but he has always seemed older than that to me.  Jared is wise.  He is a thinker and I love watching him observe and process information.  Jared is able to sense when things are off.  Over the years he has come to me and asked me how I am, if things are okay.  I am thankful for that concern and love from him.
Beth-Beth and I have kids the same ages.  I love that I can call her up and arrange spontaneous outings with our kids.  She is great to ask advice and will give me honest feedback.  I love her ability to focus and accomplish the things she sets out to do.  I am thankful that she is my friend as well as my sister.
Aaron-I am thankful that he is who he is.  Its hard to explain really.  Ever since he was a little boy I always felt a connection with him.  He gets me.  He is funny and loving.  He cares and expresses his love regularly in his actions.  I am thankful for his big personality and quiet acts of kindness.
David-  I love his outlook on life.  He is a go getter, and he does just that.  He inspires me to push myself, to think outside the box, to try new things.  He has always been funny in a quiet witty way.  I know that David wants only the best for his family and am thankful for his encouragement and advice.
Shara- We are many years apart but I see so many traits that we have the same. I love that she is straight up with everyone she meets.  She has passion and is willing to make sacrifices to follow it.  She is independent but still needs love and support from her family. I am thankful that she appreciates her family and freely gives her love, friendship, and support to me as well.
Shawn- I went away to college when he was just a little boy.  I loved coming home and he was so excited to see me.  I love that he is willing to try and try again when life gets hard.  I appreciate his efforts to get to know my kids, and inquire how I am.  I am thankful for his insight on his life experiences.  They help me know how to help others. 

If you think about it, family and faith is the core or foundation for everything around us.  I am thankful to have such amazing siblings.  They teach me so much about life and how to live it.  They are my friends and my support.  I am so thankful for them.   

An old photo from my brothers wedding.  My family plus my sis-in-law.  Its the only one I could find with all my brothers and sisters together.

Happy sounds

I was driving along the other day and realized that I had been humming a tune that was stuck in my head.  Then I realized that the two kids I had with me were also making their own music.  Adam was doing some beat box sounds, Brenna singing a song from school.  We were all just making our music together but apart.  Happy sounds that made me smile.

I made her cry...

I love my job, but not today.  It was full of new names of diseases I had never heard of.  Diseases I need to research so that when I see these babies back for testing I have an idea of what to expect and how to help the parents.  Hearing may be one of the minor issues they may be dealing with. 

I also had to tell the parents of a 2 week old baby that their baby has hearing loss and will need hearing aids.  As I explained the results the mother crumbled into tears before me.  It took everything I had to fight back my own until I left for the day.  Then I cried all the way home.